Sunday, June 25, 2006
I remember my mom always telling me when I was younger how much of a daddy's girl i was. She never said it in a mean way but almost with a hint of jealousy in her voice because as a little girl there was always this longing for me to be close to him. As I grew up I finally got that wish. It took years to find the balance between being a daughter and respecting him as a father , and then being myself and appreciating him as my friend.

When I got the opportunity to build the bridges that have held me from him, it was freeing and liberating because I got the father I always wanted.

I got to spend the day today with a man that I respect but am terrified to lose again. I was finally able to be honest with myself as I drove away from him today and admit that I terrified to lose him again after I found him. I know that he will never truely leave me and that he never did but I find myself wishing that I could change things again and rewind time so I could spend just a little more with him before he goes so far away.

I am happy for him because I know he is happy, I guess I am just not ready to let go of being his little girl just yet. I am sorry that i couldn't tell you the goodbye that you truely deserved today, I just wasn't ready.

Have fun out there dad!! I am looking forward to seeing you next time, already.
Friday, June 09, 2006
I recently got the phone call from my dad saying that he got the house in Mississippi. So sadly I must say goodbye to a part of my life that has existed for 30 years. I don't know how to balance being happy and excited for him, and sad for myself and my kids. I guess it is not mine to figure out or try to control but sometimes I wish I could.

Jon and I have started attendent meetings to support us in our latest family saga. We are getting support from a lot of other parents who can relate. It helps ......................

Marian and James got Married on the 27th of May, I had the honor of performing the ceremony, and it was awesome. She was one of the most beautiful brides you could imagine.

And then there is Robert. So, last weekend I decided to take the family out to dinner at a really good Indian food resturant. I didn't expect that there was anything besides rice and bread that Robbie would eat. While we were eating our food, robert asked for a piece of my chicken pasanda.

So I put several pieces and his immediate reaction was, "my mouth is burning". I guess a little too spicy. So I gave him something to drink and continued eating, assuming he would finish his rice and Nan bread.

A couple of minutes later he tapped me and said, "I need more chicken!" I looked over and he had eaten all of the pasanda that I put on his plate. I would cut a couple more pieces and he would eat them immediatly. And after several pieces he would ask for some soda, guess his mouth would get a little hot. That kid ate so much chicken pasanda that we were laughing thru the meal. Who would have thought!!!

He is so my kid!
Blessed Be!!





Hubbie and I

Hubbie and I