Friday, November 25, 2005
Well, turkey day was good. It was nice to have a day where we did nothing but cook and be with one another, although we are missing one. We are saddened by the turn of events with one son losing his mind to the streets and extremely happy about having Jonathan back home. It is so strange how fate and life works. We lose one son to the streets only to get our other one back.

I am hoping that the lord and lady are looking after my son while he is out there searching for the lessons he has to learn. I only hope he doesn't pay with his life.

During Thanksgiving we all sat around and went around the circle telling what we were thankful for. It was nice to have everyone in the same room and being grateful for one another.

The dark half of the year has definatly taken a toll on this family this year but there is always a ray of sunlight amongst the dark. I am so looking forward to the rebirth of the sun so hopefully it will symbolize the coming of the light back to this family.

I must say though, we are hanging tough and continue to hold onto one another. We are continuing to be by eachother's side throughout this all.

Thanks the goddess for the good times so we can get through the bad.
Blessed Be!!!
Crystal
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
I am having the hardest time getting Kevin into a suitable school that isn't full of kids who don't give a shit and an administration that doesn't either. It feels almost impossible to find a good school for our kids that is within our district or suitable. The red tape within our school system is ridiculous and impossible.

I am looking into Charter schools for I feel they are the wave of the future. Hopefully that will work out better than the crap public schools we are stuck with. We can continue to thank the terminator for the school improvement!

Crystal
Well, in light of my last post I thought it was a good reason to post this. For the last several nights Kevin, Robbie, Jon, my mom and I have been creating herbal bath salts and oatmeal milk baths for presents. It is such a great feeling to watch the kids get excited about creating things and working with herbs. Kevin did a great job and created some awesome recipes.

What a fun experience and something that any family can do. I don't know if the rest of the world gets such joy out of having herb time with the family but I do.

Blessed Be!
Crystal
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
For all the parents out there, I am sure this is a topic that hits home for all of us. It is an interesting thing to find spirituality and enlightenment and want to share it with those you love. But there is such a fine line between trying to raise your family with faith and enlightenment versus forcing beliefs on your family.

I know that I want my kids to feel the magic of life and know that there is something out there. I want to raise them in traditions that will pass onto thier families as they grow up. I want to give them the opportunity to find peace with the harsh lessons of life.

I find myself thinking about how to raise and run my family with tradition and spirit without forcing a path. I don't care what path they chose, just learning to do the footwork to find thier own spirituality.

So where do I start? I have been really thinking about what options I can chose to get them involved in activites that get them engaged in nature and spirituality. Hiking, picnics, cooking special meals, etc. Hmmmm............so much to think on.

I know that mainstream religious parents may not have the same trials that we do because thier holidays are open and recognized. It feels harder for me because I do not celebrate what the calender states.

The job of a parent never stops.
Crystal
Friday, November 04, 2005
Life is such an interesting journey. Sometimes it feels like a roller coaster that you can't get off of and yet you are not sure if you should get off.

In many ways I am very excited because my oldest son has come home. There isn't an emotion to describe the cross between excitement, happiness and fear but if there was then you would know how I feel.

I am hopeful at the thought that he is being given the opportunity to fix all the wrongs in his life. But of course we all know how hard it can be to appreciate the opportunities that are in our face. I hope he understands that everyone doesn't get a second chance and when you do you should grab it like there is no tommorrow.

How strange life is that I have felt saddened by feeling that I lost one son recently and then my oldest son reappears. I just hope that one day I will have all my family together again and healthy...........and whole.

My son Kevin is my rock. I don't know that he will ever fully understand that but I hope he knows how much I love him and look to his face for reassurance that things are ok. My son Robbie is my spirit. His excitement for life helps me face the world. Keith is always in my heart, no matter where he is. I can only hope that he learns his lessons fast and quick so he can move on and chose his fate instead of letting life take him hostage. Jonathan never left my heart. I shut the door to that part of my heart several years ago to shield myself from the pain and to perserve the image of that little boy I wanted to remember. I hope they all know that I am here for the long haul and once you become a parent, by blood or spirit, you can't just turn it off.

Although I feel all alone sometimes, I know that I am not. I can only hope that I can pass on some of the lessons I have learned in life to save my kids from learning them the hard way. Isn't that every parents hope? I can't always take away the pain but I can atleast give hope.

Today I am grateful to my faith, I know it is the reason I have continued to have the strength to open my eyes everyday and rise from the comfort of my bed to brave through a world that sometimes has no answers. I will continue to do the right thing when no one else is looking and face the storms of life, even when I feel I have no hat, coat or umbrella to shield me from the rain. I carry the power of the God, Goddess and Universe on my side, so I will march on.

Everyone deserves a second chance, I only ask that they take it. Once it blows away in the wind it is almost impossible to get it back.

Blessed Be.
Crystal





Hubbie and I

Hubbie and I